Balancing Your Life

Striking a balance between family, work & personal time has by far been one of the biggest problems most businessmoms have. Most self-employed moms usually have a hard time separating work and home life, especially if they work at home. You tend to have that guilt that you’re not paying enough attention to your child if you’re working, or you’re not working hard enough if you’re playing with your kids. I know this situation all too well since at one point, I was having to juggle between my responsibilities in owning & operating a restaurant that was open 14 hrs a day, 7 days a week, a fast-growing online business, and 2 kids under 2. A lot of people would always ask me “How do you do it?” or “How can you manage all that?” Easy. I can’t. I was a total wreck and felt like a zombie most days.  Between employees calling in sick because they had a little too much fun the night before, constantly trying to increase production for Swaddlebees, and keeping the house clean enough so we actually walk on floors without “stuff” sticking on our feet, it was a little too much between just me, my husband and our kids.  Dinners at home usually consist of reheated leftovers from several nights ago.   Sometimes it’s even cold cereal (which my kids actually like). Even though we had a babysitter that worked 4 hrs a day, 4 days a week, that wasn’t enough and I ended up doing the other half of my work from 9 pm-2 am.

Needless to say, I wasn’t the happiest person at all.  I was doing a lot of tasks I hated to do, kept getting into situations I would not rather be in, and couldn’t enjoy my family and our life.  Something had to change.  I was putting everybody else ahead of me that I had no energy at the end of the day left for myself.

Most stay at home moms open up home businesses so they can stay home with their kids while hopefully earning themselves some money.  And a lot of times, if they do it right and the business grows, they end up spending less and less time with their kids and more on the business–which totally defeats the purpose of why they started the business at home anyway.  We all need to always focus on what is really important and what really makes us happy.  It’s hard to be a good mom to your kids if you’re stressed and overworked.  If your line of work makes it too hard to keep your life balanced, you may want to consider doing something else that will make it easier on everyone, cut back on your work…or really do some heavy-duty prioritizing.

I believe one of the keys to living a balanced life is to always be striving to find ways to focus your time and energy on the things that matter.  In most cases, YOU are what matters most.  Force yourself to eliminate unnecessary time-wasters.  80% of what most people spend their time on are not important.   It’s amazing to realize that you can really do something that would normally take you an hour and do it in 15-20 minutes if your life depended on it.  If you only had 2 hours to work (because that’s how long your baby will nap), do the most important things first.  Quit reading the news, tabloids or going to online discussion boards.  Quit complaining about your customers, or how much work you have to do.  You don’t have to answer each and every email either.  Automate as much of your tasks as possible.  And set yourself a working deadline and stick to it.  If you have unfinished tasks, don’t worry about it.  Do it tomorrow.  Let the laundry rot for another day.  Get on with your life.  Go play with the kids, eat some chocolate and snuggle with your spouse.

View from My Desk

It’s been over 3 yrs. since our last baby, and I’ve forgotten how much time and nurturing little babies need.  Ever since the birth of my daughter Isabella several weeks ago, I haven’t been as productive as I’d like to be.  Paperwork has piled up faster than I can get to it.  A lot of  issues have fallen through the cracks, and some things just never get done…at least not on time.  But it’s okay.  At least I get to see this as I work:

100 trivial things I’ve learned over the last 10 years - Part 2

51. Some people demand free stuff.
52. Some people will beg for free stuff.
53. Top-notch e-commerce websites can cost as much as $80,000.
54. A programmer from India can make you an e-commerce site for $2,000.
55. It’s not easy trying to explain to an Indian programmer how your website should look or function or why making a customer go through 50 links just to buy 1 thing is not going to work.
56. Do not take pictures of your products on your kitchen table.
57. Don’t take pictures of your products on the floor either.
58. Photoshop is a good program to learn if you have the time to mess with it.
59. If you want to have a world-wide brand, your name has to be easily pronounced by people that don’t speak English.
60. People in certain countries can’t pronounce Swaddlebees.
61. There is a market for almost anything.
62. Keep 3 months’ supply of everything.
63. Current minimum wage in the US is $5.85 per hour.
64. Minimum wage for the Philippines is about $6 per day.
65. People can sue you for anything.
66. Winning lawsuits does not always mean you will get the money.
67. Good lawyers cost an average $250/hr.
68. Payroll taxes costs about 15% of what you pay employees.
69. Unemployment benefits costs employers money and can make people lazy.
70. Worldlingo.com enables you to communicate with customers in a different language without having to learn it.
71. It’s amazing how much business you can conduct online.
72. Having an online business is the only way you can conduct business with screaming kids around.
73. Kids don’t like to be locked up in rooms while you take an important phone call.
74. I wasted so much money on advertising.
75. Most people waste a lot of money on advertising.
76. Most people do not know how to market their products.
77. Most PR companies won’t know how to market your products either.
78. A lot of “business coaches” don’t really know much about business.
79. It’s okay to help your competitor.
80. Never talk bad about your competitors.
81. If your competitor hates you, always smile and be nice to them. They’ll hate you even more.
82. Competitors that don’t mind their own business don’t have enough business of their own.
83. Free shipping is not free.
84. Free products are not free.
85. Free labor is a bored 3-yr old.
86. By day 3, you really need to give the kids a bath.
87. By day 3, YOU really need to take a bath.
88. College degrees are overrated and don’t usually mean anything.
89. Hire somebody with more experience over somebody with more degrees.
90. It is estimated that only 30% of college graduates actually end up in careers they majored in.
91. Most college graduates and people coming from corporate America don’t really know how to run a business.
92. Some of the biggest companies today were started by college drop-outs.
93. You can still do business with a handshake.
94. I prefer doing business with a handshake.
95. No matter how bad they do their job, USPS mail carriers cannot be fired.
96. Business is 90% mental, 10% physical.
97. Complaining about difficult customers only brings in more of them.
98. Listen to your intuition.
99. There are no business secrets.
100. Everything you need to know to succeed is either already inside of you or can easily be Googled.

100 trivial things I’ve learned over the last 10 years - Part 1

1. Most people think business owners are rolling in money.
2. Most business owners are rolling in debt.
3. I am unemployable.  I always think I’m smarter than my bosses and that some of them may be full of BS.
4. Don’t answer your business phone line during the first 2 weeks after getting your business license. They’re mostly telemarketers.
5. No, I don’t need another credit card processor….
6. How many types of yellow pages are there?
7. I should have hired a bookkeeper right from the start.
8. Things always take twice as long when you need it the most.
9. Having a business is sometimes a 24-hr/day job
10. There are only 24 hrs in a day.
11. Water coolers can turn into waterfalls when accessible to toddlers.
12. Toddlers think thermal label printers are wonderful giant sticker dispensers.
13. It is possible to cover your entire desk with label stickers.
14. It is almost impossible to remove label stickers from a glass desk.
15. Never compete based on price alone.
16. Extreme bargain-hunters tend to be one of the most demanding (and sometimes unpleasant) customers.
17. No matter how much money they spend with you, some customers are just not worth having.
18. I hate it when people write on the back of my business cards.
19. Don’t put your cell phone number on your business cards.
20. Just because you can print your own business cards on your home printer, doesn’t mean you should.
21. It’s not worth doing payroll yourself. Spend the extra $50 per pay period and let somebody else do it.
22. When you lose money, you’ve only lost money.  When you lose time, you’ve lost part of your life.
23. People don’t usually read the information that you try to put RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM.
24. Having a REAL business is not for the weak of heart.
25. Pay your employees well.
26. Take a nap.
27. When you have a hundred orders to fill, irate customers to pacify, and materials to reorder…your kids still have to eat….at least 3 times a day.
28. Marriott Residence Inn is the best place to stay at when you want to keep everyone together and you’re traveling with 3-4 adults & 2 toddlers.
29. Sheraton has some niiiiiice pillows.
30.” Free Continental Breakfast” at most motels usually means cheap cold pastries.
31. Most hotels in Las Vegas will make you walk at least 5 miles before you get to your room.
32. There are people gambling 24 hrs a day in Las Vegas.
33. It costs about $5,000 to exhibit in a trade show (that’s tradeshow fees for 1 booth, lodging, transportation, food, etc).
34. Most trade shows are a waste of money.
35. When you’re exhibiting at trade shows, most people that work for magazine publications will tell you they would like to do a story on your company, or your stuff is really cool,you’re drop dead gorgeous….and that you really need to advertise in their magazine before they can publish any of what they just said.
36. Most magazine publications will tell you that you need to advertise at least 5 million times before the customer starts to recognize your company.
37. At trade shows, people will stop by your booth and pretend to be interested in your stuff if you’re giving away chocolate.
38. At trade shows, only people actually interested in your stuff will stop by your booth if you’re giving away Tic Tacs.
39. Almost half of the people that work in restaurants smoke pot.
40. I don’t know how pot smells like.
41. Some parents will actually demand for you to give their lazy teenagers a job.
42.Some parents will actually call in sick for their lazy teenagers’ shifts.
43. A finger that needs to be amputated will be okay with a few Band Aids when there is a drug test involved.
44. Don’t ever buy into a franchise that has less than 10 company owned stores.
45. The average restaurant profit margin is 5% when times are good.
46. Being a chef is overrated.
47. Most people that call themselves chefs have huge egos (watch Top Chef).
48. There are companies out there that will call you saying they would like to do a segment on your company to air on major TV networks (i.e. Discovery Channel, Oxygen Network, etc.), but you have to pay $9,000-12,000 for the licensing fee. That’s a scam.
49. Getting TV coverage from real companies is free.
50. People like free stuff.

Starting a business

Over the years, in different versions & languages, this is a question that I often hear aspiring entrepreneurs ask.  “What type of business should I start?”  “What’s a good business to get into?”  “How can I make money on my own business?”   “How did you start your business?”

There is no one cut and dried answer to this as I believe starting a business, running it and growing it must be congruent to each individual’s own unique set of talents, skills and experience.  Not only that, but it must also match what your market needs and wants.  One of the best ways to start a business is to figure out what you can offer.   What are you good at?   What do you like to do that others can find value in?   Is there a product or service that you can fill in the marketplace that is unique and can set you apart from your competition?   What are you passionate about?   What would make you want to wake up each day ready to face the world?   Each of us has something special to offer.  Each of us has our own unique abilities and passions.   Don’t be led just by what everybody else is doing or what somebody else tells you to do.   Just because somebody made millions selling hamburgers doesn’t always mean that it’s a good business for you to get into.   What if you’re a vegetarian?    You’ll be burned out of the burger business in record time.  And don’t be discouraged if there are a bazillion other people doing what you’re wanting to do either.  Sure there may be 5000 other real estate agents in your town, but maybe you’re a marketing genius that can make a fixer-upper sound like a mansion and can use that to set yourself apart.   You need to be really clear on what value you’re trying to provide, because you can’t just open shop and sell stuff and hope to get a piece of the pie.  80-90% of new businesses are already doing that, and 95% of them are closing shop within the first 5 years.

I always hesitate to answer questions of how I got started and the details of how I run my business when it is asked by someone who is also trying to figure out what business to get into.   It is not because of the potential competition, but because I don’t want to give the person the idea that anybody can do what I’m doing.   Don’t get me wrong, what I currently do is not hard for me, and anybody with the right motivation can probably do it.  I consider a lot of it play because I truly enjoy the business, the freedom and the creativity it allows me.   Even if I had 50 million dollars in the bank, I’d probably still be doing what I’m doing.   But for someone that doesn’t have kids, hates kids, does not believe in cloth diapers, can’t even talk about poop without gagging, or has no passion or interest in this business other than just to make money, my business would be a big mis-match for them.   Now if I was talking to a mom who’s had 5 kids and has a lot of enthusiasm and support, my response would probably be completely different.

I’ve seen several people try to do what I’m doing and have failed miserably.  Why?   Because all they were after is the money.  They knew nothing of the products, how they worked, how they are used, or who their customers were.   Something as “niche-y” as manufacturing reusable diapers truly requires one to have a higher purpose or a true passion for the industry than just making money.

You can’t open a business with just the sole purpose of making money.  That is probably one of the worst ways to do it.  You have to be driven by something else other than just money, because owning and running your own business will just about take everything you’ve got–mentally,physically,  emotionally, psychologically & financially  Once your material resources runs out, you’ve got to be able to dig deeper to pull your way through.  Running after the money is almost always never a good way to start & stay in business.  Yes, you do have to mind your numbers, but you also don’t want to be constantly looking at each potential customer as lunch.  If you focus on the real value that you are providing and are able to convince your customers of such, the money will come.

Start with trying to figure out how you can be of service to others.  See what you can create that brings people joy or make their lives easier.

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